Stepping In It

I stepped in it.

Not as in a good place or a good position. I literally stepped in it.

I know who it is too. It’s that evil old lady and her giant German Shepherd, Felix.

I am wearing my new Brooks sneakers, white for the summer, and now…disgusting.

I try to clean my sneakers, yes both of them, with a garden hose. Nothing budges.

I get some shit on my hand and I curse out loud. I throw the sneakers towards the street.

I walk, barefoot, towards my car and I sit in the driver’s seat. I’m pissed off and frustrated. I just could never seem to take a step in the right direction.

I sometimes feel like I am caught in an abandoned city. I wander through the streets as I do each day as I travel to and from work. I wonder what would happen if a beautiful woman told me she wanted to buy me a drink or just hang out. Would I go?

Or if there are any familiar faces left to greet me.

In my little fantasy I do and we give each other what we cannot get from another.

In reality I simply go back and forth like a pendulum. A golden watch on a chain, swinging back and forth, hypnotizing me into a paralytic prison. Morning to night, night to morning. I can’t twist and turn to avoid the shit that is waiting for me on the ground.

I always seem to step in it. While others step into a situation where they have unlimited opportunities. I step into Felix’s Alpo filled rejections.

There is always a bright spot to be found. “A light at the end of a dark tunnel.” Right?

As summer quickly turns to autumn, I walk through the fallen leaves, I turn up the lapels of my coat and zip up. A lady with a dog walks by, I step aside and keep my eyes on the ground before each step.

From down the block I can see lights in my house shining bright.

“My light at the end of a tunnel.”