The Words We Used to Sing

Rocks tumble down the hill, where we once stood. Champions, in our own minds. Warriors, for the just cause.

We once promised we would stand together forever, hands held high in a victorious pose.

We promised we would never become the lemmings we detested.

Time took away those promises as work became a thankless chore, shots of tequila were gladly exchanged for children’s bedtime stories.

I walked through our old neighborhood the other morning. At the top of that hill there is a 24-hour laundromat and the hill is not as high up as I remember it.

I saw Bobby as I walked and I pointed out the old hill. He laughed and said, “My dad bought that spot and then he let me manage the laundromat. It’s a job at the end of the day.”

I smiled and said, “I guess you conquered that hill in the end.”

He kept silent and stared at me.

“I have to run, I’m taking my wife to the Cayman Islands tomorrow and I have a lot of shit to take care of. We should get together, all of us. I’ll text you when we get back.”

Bobby walked away.

I turned and walked towards the station. Above me I could hear the train rolling in, I won’t make that and I sure as hell ain’t going to run for it.

I stopped into a corner store that I used to buy my newspaper from. Gary wasn’t there anymore, behind the counter eyeing me suspiciously, was a man wearing a turban.

“Can I help you, Sir?” “Do you sell newspapers?” “No, I’m sorry sir.” “Thank you.” Sir? When did I become a fucking “Sir?”

I resumed my walk towards the elevated platform and I caught a reflection of myself in one of the store windows. “Is that me?” I almost tripped to the ground, but something held me up. Must’ve been a ghost from my past who still had the will to protect me.

I watched as two high school girls walked past me, laughing about something. The sound of their laughter echoed within me and brought me back in time.

I remembered Mary’s laughter and it caused me to shiver. Has it really been 45 years since we held hands? She was my age and we couldn’t see eye to eye. But we also couldn’t keep our lips apart while together. We let go of each other’s hands and moved forward. But I remember her laugh.

The street is so different these days. Different businesses line Kings Highway. Different faces, different times, the same laughter.

I think about Bobby and the rest of the guys and I wonder if they ever feel as I feel. There is a void inside me, could it be caused by the promises and dreams we once held tightly? Or maybe it’s just me who has forgotten the words we used to sing.